Caregiving Daughter

Since Mom has moved in with us, I am the one who takes her shopping.  While it’s good for her to get out, I must say that her dementia and short-term memory can make our trips, well interesting.  I try to make note of some of the little things that help make these excursions go better.  Today I thought I share some things I’ve learned.  Feel free to comment and add any other ideas to make shopping more pleasant with our loved ones who don’t get around as easily as we do.

1.  Go when you have plenty of time – Sometimes this is not easy.  There are days I feel like I barely have time to breath between work and all of the kids’ activities.  But I have found it is definitely worth it to go when we have a large block of time available.  I have to remember that Mom doesn’t get out often, and she enjoys browsing and looking around.  When I’m in a hurry, it results in both of us becoming frustrated and stressed.

2.  Try to limit the amount of items that you are buying for yourself – Our shopping visits seem to go much more smoothly when I only need to pick up a few items.  When I go with a long list for myself, the trip is longer and more tiring for both of us. 

3.  Try to go when the store is not crowded – I don’t know about you, but I hate shopping even by myself when a store is crowded!  When I’m shopping with Mom, she wants to take her time looking at items and deciding what she wants to buy.  When the store is crowed, it makes Mom nervous.  The best time that we have found is late afternoons on Sundays.

4.  Always make a list – I figured this out the same time I figured out #2.  We were shopping at a Wal-Mart Supercenter. My cart was heaped over with groceries, plus I had a 40 lb. bag of dog food at the bottom.  I thought we were both finished when Mom suddenly remembered that she needed something that was at the opposite end of the store!  Now Mom keeps a little memo pad at home, and every time she thinks of something she needs she writes it down.  I help her check it while we’re shopping so we don’t have to go back and forth all over the store.

5.  Keep bathroom availability in mind – Not all stores have public bathrooms.  By now, I’ve learned the ones that do so if Mom has a sudden need to go, we can get there in time.  I also ask if she needs to go before we leave a larger store with nice restrooms. 

6.  Don’t lose one another! – When I shop with Mom, I have to consciously walk slower and check that she’s still with me.  Mom feels more comfortable following me.  There have been times I was walking too fast, or I didn’t realize that she stopped to look at something.

7.  Be prepared to help at the cash register – This is usually one of the most difficult parts for Mom.  She likes to pay with her debit card, but when the time comes to use it she gets nervous and flustered.  She’s never quite sure if she wants to choose debit or credit, and she has trouble remembering her PIN number.  I know she wants to do this by herself, so I just try to stay close by if she needs help.

So, overall shopping with someone who suffers from Alzheimer’s or other medical conditions CAN be pleasant.  Whenever I start to get annoyed, I remember that once she had to put up with ME at the store! 

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